About six months ago I started noticing that Biscuit's breath had gotten genuinely bad. Not just dog breath, like actually bad, the kind where he'd climb up next to me on the sofa and I'd have to quietly move my face away before he got too close. My boyfriend said I was being dramatic. My mum said all dogs smell. I half convinced myself they were probably right.
Then one night he yawned right in my face and I can only describe it as dead fish mixed with something rotting underneath. I pulled back and then immediately felt terrible about it because he's my baby and he was just trying to be near me.
I Googled it, found nothing that alarmed me, bought a water additive and used it for three weeks. The smell came back within hours of each dose wearing off. I had the groomer brush his teeth at his next appointment and she said it went fine but two days later it was back to the same warm swamp water smell it had always been. I tried a dental spray and Biscuit absolutely hated it, he'd foam at the mouth and shake his head and look at me like I'd personally offended him. I tried the peanut butter flavoured toothpaste everyone talks about online and he'd let me do about four seconds of brushing before he was done with the whole thing.
Nothing worked. Not even a little bit, not even temporarily. The smell just stayed.
I mentioned it to the vet at his annual checkup and she looked in his mouth for about thirty seconds, said she could see a little buildup on the back molars but his teeth looked okay, nothing to worry about for now. And I nodded and went home and bought another bag of dental chews thinking maybe I just hadn't found the right one yet.
It was only later, after going down a research rabbit hole at about 11pm on a Tuesday because the smell still wouldn't go away, that I found out what was actually going on. And why every single thing I'd tried was structurally incapable of fixing it.